Sunday, August 30, 2009

Funeral Information

The funeral is tomorrow at 1pm at Benjamin's Funeral home

Benjamin's Funeral Home at 2401 Steeles Ave W, Toronto, ON M3J 2P1

For the next week after, the Shiva will be held at

65 Spring Garden Ave, apartment 1602 starting at 1pm everyday.

Just before 1pm....

Dad passed just before 1pm today.

Finally, he's at peace.

Funeral and shiva information shortly.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Day 31

We're still waiting. The time between his breaths have gotten farther apart.

But he's still going. He always been a stubborn one.

We all didn't sleep well. It was hard to find a place to sleep. And now two new nurses who have never actually nursed dad are giving us problems for sitting outside his door.

Too bad- I'm not leaving.

Should be anytime now...

PS; mom's been reading all the comments and constantly asking to see if more have been written.

Friday, August 28, 2009

Day 30

Mom slept at the hospital and Jason and I got here around 7am.

Dad made it through the night but mom thinks it wont be long now.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Day 29

The nurses aren't putting dad's numbers up on the whiteboard across his bed anymore. Jason asked why. Mom said there was no point.

Dad's on a lot of morphine right now so he's out of it. Not like yesterday. He was awake and smiling and eating and talking. Today's not the same.

Mom called us at 7:30 this morning because dad was asking to see us. So now we're here just waiting.

I'll be posting funeral and shiva information here when the time comes. Keep checking.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Day +28 the beginning of the end.

Today was the day we were supposed to see if the bone marrow was working.

Today we had a family meeting.

Today we were told that despite our efforts things could not go on.

The doctors stood above my fathers bed as he informed myself, my mother, my brother, and my Bubbie that the chemo had been too strong and had destroyed his liver and kidneys. It had gotten so bad that there was nothing more they could do.

Now we just have to make sure he's comfortable.

He's still awake and alert enough to know what's going on. He made sure to tell my brother and my mother and I how much he loves us and to tell us his wishes.

He's also alert enough that he's asking to see this post.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Day +27

Things are looking worse.

I'm going into see dad now. Moms staying the night. We have a family meeting tomorrow at 1.

I'll keep this updated.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Day +26

I was the first to visit dad this morning.

When I walked, in the Kidney doctor, along with a whole team of aspiring young doctors were all standing around dad's bed. They were testing his hand eye coordination, which, apparently, was fine.

The doctor said that there wasn't much he needed to do other than make some suggestions for fluids to give him because his kidneys have stablized more.

I sat with dad for a bit while he slept. He seemed a little uncomfortable, but I think the catheter he has is still bothering him. Less than yesterday though.

When he woke up he was pretty out of it. His mind is still very unclear and he's not making any sense. He had asked the sitter that was there with me if he needed to have a beer. The sitter said when he was better she would buy a case of it to celebrate with him.

A little while later Bubbie and my aunt Esther came in and we talked while dad was sort of off in his own world. Esther tried to talk to him but he wasn't making any sense. The three of us continued to talk as dad took the button that buzzes the nurses and pretended to shave with it. We just kept talking and looking over from time to time.

Then mom came and he started to be more alert, but he still didn't make much sense.

Bubbie and Esther and I then left and dad gave us a tiny kissy face. Well, not to Esther because he was trying to make it a joke. He still has a bit of humor to him

About 30 minutes ago mom called me saying dad had saw someone on the phone on tv and wanted to call me. So she put him on the phone and he breathed and tried to say something but nothing came out. I could tell he knew what I was saying but couldn't get out what he wanted to say. It seems like he's just having trouble getting the words out right.

All this is still because his liver and kidneys are out of whack. They are getting better apparently but nowhere close to what they should be. He's peeing out more fluid and his belly isn't as big as it was because of the fluid. He also had an ultrasound today and the doctor said there were no kidney blockages. As mom puts it, it's just a balancing act.

The good news in all this is that his blood numbers are really starting to climb. His hemaglobin especially. He used to have to go to the hospital every week to get blood transfusions because it would never climb higher than around 80. Today, it was 105 from 80 yesterday. All his other numbers are climbing too.

That's about it. I'll update more if mom gives me more to say~

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Day +25

Dad's doing slightly better today.

His kidney's and liver are still not doing as they should, but the hospital no longer has ICU at Mount Sanai on standby.

He's still really out of it, but he seems to be able to speak a little more. Earlier, as I sat here, he was semi out of it, with his mouth hanging open. Now he seems to be more with it, speaking a little more.

Besides his liver and kidney problems, his blood levels continue to climb. This looks like the bone marrow's really starting to work. It wont really matter, however, if his kidney's and liver don't work.

His sister, Esther, also flew in from Israel and saw him this morning which was nice.

Mom took a leave of absence from work until dad stabilizes.

And that's about it for now~

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Day +24

Things aren't looking good today.

I have a sore throat and couldn't visit dad but mom has been there since 11 and is going to be staying the night.

His liver and kidneys are not doing as they should.

I'll keep this updated.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Day +23

Today was interesting...

Jason and I went down to see dad together. I had to get bloodwork done at Mount Sinai, so I went while Jason went straight to dad. When I got there, dad was yelling at Jason for something... Not sure what. I don't think Jason knows either.

Yeah, dad was being sort of... belligerent. It was actually kind of funny. He was super confused and I think was still living off the idea that he was in a fake hospital room. He yelled at Jason and I to take down the bed railing so he could leave but we told him we weren't allowed. And then he yelled at us like he used to do when we did something bad.

It was refreshing to see he had enough energy to yell and that his mouth wasn't hurting. He also was fidgety, which the nurses didn't like, but it was good to see him moving. He also knew who we were and how he was allowed to talk to us because we're his kids haha.

His liver and kidney's aren't doing well, which is why he's so confused and out of it. He's getting more medication to hopefully fix that. His blood levels are good though.

That's all for today~

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Day +22

Saw dad today at around 1 with Jason.

He wasn't very talkative but I think it was because he was sleepy.

I just gave him a face wash with a warm wet cloth and he enjoyed that. Jason helped the nurse put on his leg stockings to help get rid of the excess fluid he still has floating around him.

Other than that Jason and I both just sat and watched him.

Today his white blood cell count went up to 0.3 from 0.2 yesterday and 0.1 the day before.. It sort of looks like a trend is poking out...

We'll see what tomorrow brings~

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Day +19 and +20 and +21

Sorry sorry sorry sorrrrryyy.

I know I have been kind of slacking on the blog as of late, but I'm without my laptop [it had to be sent in because the "2" key broke off and they couldn't just send me a new one...ugh] and I was out of town making it hard to update the blog. He's been pretty much the same though.


Yesterday, day 20, was just a day. I didn't see him until about 4pm but luckily he was awake. We talked a bit and I informed him of my weekend.

That morning, apparently, the nurses called my mom at 5:45am because my dad refused to get his blood taken until she convinced him it was ok. Apparently dad thought there was a conspiracy going on. So, being as curious as I am and wanting more content for this blog I asked him to explain what he thought was going on...

The first thing he asked me was if I had ever been in a room that was a replica in another room. I answered yes. He asked me how I had known that I was in the fake room and not the real room. I answered that I knew because of how I entered the room in the first place; if I walked into the place where I knew the original room was I would know it was the real one and if I walked into a place that wasn't where the original room is supposed to be, I would know it was fake.

He then proceeded to tell me how he didn't think he was in his original hospital room. He said things like the whiteboard that's on the wall across his bed kept being erased and the balloon atop of his IV pole [the one Jason gave him] has been 3 different versions. I assured him that I did, in fact, walk through the Princess Margaret doors and up the elevator and down the hall to get to him, and he hasn't moved in almost a month. I also told him I would film myself walking through the halls if it made him feel better.

He then told me that the first conspiracy theory he had isn't quite being proven how he'd like. He told me he was sure someone was pretending to be him in order to leave the country, and it was just a coincidence that he was sick.

He told me all this with a quite serious face.

Really, all I could do was assure him nothing was going to happen and to just take a nap. So he did.

That was yesterday.

Today, my dad was feeling in the mood to talk so he called my mom. At 6 in the morning.


"What? Hi... Do you know what time it is?"

"Is it 11 at night?"

"No, it's 6am."

"Oh, ok. Bye"

[I don't know if that was the exact conversation, but that's how mom explained it to me]

Also, somewhere in there... he asked to be beamed up to the USS Enterprise...

[That's a Star Trek thing, for anyone who doesn't know it, or my dad's obsession with the show]

Anyways, Jason saw him this afternoon and mom and I went down around 430ish. He was sleeping when we got there and had a sitter named Joyce watching him.

He woke up and we talked. Mom gave him a face wash with some cool cloths that he really enjoys and we teased him a bit about his early morning phonecalls.

Other than his crazy thoughts and silly phonecalls, he's doing pretty well, considering.

The redness around his eyes is almost completely gone, he just has two lines under his eyes, above his cheek bones. He has lost most of his hair but still has a thin layer of it on his head and still a lot of a beard.

What is also good to hear is that his body is levelling out more and his blood numbers are climbing. The doctor says not to get too excited because it hasn't been a long enough trend yet... but the first glimpses of the bone marrow working are starting to show...

Keeping our fingers crossed~

Sunday, August 16, 2009

Day + 17 and +18

Yesterday I saw dad before I drove to London, after work. I was only there for an hour but during that hour dad and I watched two of his favorite shows Cash Cab and Qubit. Both are trivia shows and he was answering a bunch of questions, which was good.

I didn't see him today but mom says today wasn't as good of a day. He didn't get out of bed and was paranoid again. The doctor's still not worried, but mom is.


Friday, August 14, 2009

Day +16

"I'm up to page 75"

That's what dad said to his Personal Care Worker today as she was pulling up his sheets over his legs before he fell asleep. He was apparently telling a joke. He also made some faces and me and mocked how I said hi to him when I came into the room. Typical dad stuff.

He had a rough night last night, bad fever and paranoia and confusion. The doctors found he has a blood infection but isolated the type and gave him specific drugs for it. He had a fever all day but by the time I got there around 8 it had gone down. His blood levels are worse than yesterday but, again, no one's overly concerned.

He was still more talkative than he was last week but you could tell he was slowly passing out, which he did about 20 minutes after I got there.

He has a lovely care worker watching him tonight in case he has another bad night.

Hopefully that wont happen~

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Day +15

Didn't get to see dad today.

Mom said he has another fever so he's been sleeping a lot.

She also said his neutrafils [don't know how to spell that haha] have gone up from 0 to 0.1. That means the bone marrow might be working...

Let's hope they keep climbing~

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Day +14

...I absolutely hate not having my laptop.. I wrote this whole amazing post and then it didn't work...Gahhhh


Today is 2 weeks in and dad was definitely more himself today...Well a slightly more drugged up version of himself.

Mom and I went down to see him this evening after dad called home twice to see when we were coming. We couldn't help the time, but we got there just when he starting getting his dose of Benadryl. He was good for about an hour until he looked like he was going to pass out.

When we got there dad was watching TV and seemed pretty lively. He was talking more and louder because his mouth hurt less and he seemed brighter in general. He was making silly facial expressions [much like I do] during conversation and even used his coined term "what-EVER."

He then went on and on about how much he enjoyed getting his spongebath today. Then mom and him talked about how she's not going to spongebathe him when he's home and healthy, and dad was making jokes about how she was going to find another husband. Then I had to listen to them talk about their wedding when dad wanted to shave off his beard in between the day, after pictures and before the ceremony. Dad giggled.

The steroids are starting to get to him, not just in his little pudgy cheeks, but to his brain. He thinks he can do ANYTHING. He told us that before we got there he jumped into a wheelchair, held his IV pole between his legs and wheeled himself all the way down the hall to get water from the kitchen all by himself. He had to go by himself because he's not supposed to be drinking water, hence why he couldn't ask a nurse. I told him I wasn't impressed, one, because he's not supposed to drink water, and two, because the IV pole could have come crashing down on his face. He didn't seem to care.

The best part of the night though was dad talking about being drugged up. Earlier, on the phone, he had told me that the nurses were making fun of him because he thought he had roasted chickens hanging from his IV pole. Really, it was just the large IV bags of saline and other stuff. He also started talking about how he couldn't understand why, but he felt like he was supposed to be doing something, like write a report. I told him to go for it because no one was stopping him and that he really didn't have anything else to do. He then pulled his shirt up over his very bloated belly to show off all these new spots he got. He said they were my fault because everytime he thought about me, he coughed. [uhhhh I'm sorry?] He was also saying how he doesn't like being so drugged up. I quite enjoy it, actually.

Other than that, the area around his eyes is almost completely back to normal, so no more redness.. His eyes are a little less yellow, he has a little less hair on both his head and his face... His blood counts aren't relatively wonderful but the doctor says it's expected.

Guess that's all for todayyy~

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Day +12 and +13

So yesterday didn't have much for me to update. Mom and I went down to see dad after work. He was talkative (as talkative as he could be with mom talking about stuff going on with her, but dad enjoyed it). I could tell he was really alert because at one point mom and I were talking about me having a doctors appointment and dad piped in telling me I HAD to get the results of a blood test which he's been pestering me about for 2 months now.

That was yesterday.

Right now I'm sitting in the chair next to him while the doctors talking. His blood oressure is up a bit again and his kidney's aren't at a good level to give him more of his anti rejection medication (because it's metabolised by the kidneys) but the doctor doesn't seem to be concerned.

He looked tired when I got here but he got up and sat in one of the chairs by his bed and watched Fresh Prince of Bel-Air with me. Then he threw up. (guess he's not a fan of Will Smith)

The nurse thought that was because he drank too much water. Ah well, they gave him Gravol and now he's all sleepy.

The redness around his eyes has gone down but now his eyeballs are more yellow. His feet and belly are still swollen from fluid in his body but its not like he's walking around much to sweat it out.

And now dad's passed out. I wonder if he'll start snoring.

That's the update for today~

Oh PS; mom made an offhand remark the other day saying people haven't been commenting anymore. So comment away, I think she likes it.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Day +11

Sitting here with mom and dad.

Dad had high blood pressure today from some meds he was given to reduce the fluid in his belly so they stopped it. He still has a lot of fluid. And his innie belly button is now an outie.

He also still has most of his hair.

Not much else to write today and I'm typing this on my phone while wearing really large latex gloves so yeah, that's it for today lol~

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Day +10

Not a huge update today.

Dad wasn't as lively as yesterday but he was talking louder which meant his mouth hurt less.

Mom said he was having some stomach pain but they upped his morphine so I think it balanced out.

All for today~

Friday, August 7, 2009

Day +9

Well today was definitely what I would define as a good day.

I didn't get to see dad until around 8 o'clock tonight, however I was able to speak with him around 6. He called Bubbie while I was there just before dinner. Yup, he called her. She said it was hard to hear him because he was speaking quietly [because of his mouth sores hurting] but the fact that he called was awesome.

Jason had seen him during the afternoon today and said he was up and even on his computer replying to emails from a few people. [if you got a reply, you should feel honoured] He was also up to taking a picture of himself, but not before he adjusted the brightness and contrast and put a lovely border around it.

Just look at that mug

Seeing him today myself made me feel better than yesterday. He was more awake and talkative than he's been in a long time. He kept telling us about what the doctor's were saying, and what they were giving him, and how he didn't have pancreatitis [the nurse was wrong] but had something else that just means a lot of water in his belly. He was also being slightly demanding asking mom to get him water from a specific local and getting me to tidy up his little hospital table while telling me exactly where to put everything. He also tried to make a joke, but that didn't work... Well, did it ever? [haha]

It was really funny though because you could tell he was feeling the morphine that he was on. He was kind of whiney and you could see it in his eyes that his head must have been floating. At one point he was telling mom and I that the contents of one of the IV bags was "peachy" but the other time it was "peachier." He also said he's been hallucinating flies over his bed.

Gotta love morphine.

The only semi bad news from today is that he's started to lose his hair, which he's not too happy about. [Not like he had much in the first place] Soon enough though, we'll get to call him "Rufus" which is the name him and his brother Dav1d came up with for when he did lose it. [You know, Rufus the naked mole rat from the Disney show Kim Possible?]

Other than that, it seems like the worst of the chemo may have passed [fingers crossed] and it can only get better from here~

Thursday, August 6, 2009

Day +8

Did anyone say bris?

Yup it's been 8 days now.

Jason and I are sitting here again with dad. He's trying to sleep but is very restless. The nurse told us that he had more tests and that there's nothing to worry about. He does have pancreatitis, but apparently not eating will fix that. And morphine. Don't know howww but whateverr. The narcotics should do some good.

Dad's also been sitting up a bit which is good. And he's still observant. He noticed one of the power cords to an IV machine wasn't plugged in. So he waved it at the nurse like a little boy until she noticed. It was cute. Yeah he can't really talk... But then again, what's there to talk about?

That's it for today~

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Day +7

Just got home from visiting dad with the brother.

We just sat around and watched him fall in and out of sleep and lie there.

His eyes don't look as puffy and one of the nurses said he looked better than yesterday, so that's good. He still had to get more blood today and his platelets aren't climbing yet. But it's only been a week.

I told dad the blog was getting boring and he needed to be more exciting by walking more or something. I think he laughed, it was hard to tell. He's very quite.

It still weirds me out being the visitor and not the patient.

All for now~

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Day +5 and +6

I didn't have a chance to update the blog yesterday, and I'm working tonight so I can only give you what I heard from my mom yesterday.

"Dad's face and ankles are not as puffy, but his eyes look more
bruised than yesterday. He can open them better cause not as puffy.

Hemoglobin is a bit higher. No need for blood. His platlets are
still pretty low but a bit higher than yesterday, so he had more
platlets today. The doctor said his kidneys are a bit better, and
his vitals are a good sign. Peeing a lot today
too....but also nausea and mouth sores. He really didn't talk, but
nodded alot. Was a bit more awake today than yesterday. They are
still giving him drugs for nausea as well as antirejection meds and
Benadril and vits/minerals. Still not eating and no interest in
eating whatsoever."

She says this is all to expected.

If I get an update before I go to work, I'll add it~

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Day +4

I finally got to see dad after being in BC for a week.

It was quite a shock.

The only way I could describe they way he looked was to compare him to one of the fish characters on sponge Bob. His eye sockets and lids were huge and red and puffy. So I thought he looked like a fish.

His kidney's are working much better now. There was a risk of renal failure, but he was peeing normally when I left the hospital thanks to more drugs.

His mouth hurts a lot so he couldn't really talk and he's still extremely tired.

That's it for today~

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Day +3

Mom called me after visiting dad in the hospital.

He's still sleeping a lot. His kidney's aren't functioning as well as they could be, so they've been giving him a lot of fluids. Mom said that he looks really puffy. He was given more platelets and more drugs today. Good news is he's not having as much stomach pain as before, and he was able to do a little walk.

Nothing tooo exciting.

I'm going to see him tomorrow so maybe I'll have more to update then~